THE ROOM

My listing expired.
Another agent got the relist.

This one is a listing, so it's a seller's story. On the buyer side, it's the buyer agreement that ran out, and the buyer who bought two months later with somebody else.

Your listing expired on a Tuesday. Eleven days later it relisted with another agent, and it sold.

A Hundred and Eighty Days

You spent six months on that house.

You did the work. Professional photos, twice, since you reshot after the leaves came in. Three open houses. Two price reductions. You recommended both, and both came later than they should have.

You sent showing feedback every week. You called with updates even when there was nothing new. You'd rather call with nothing than have her wonder.

By the end she was hard to work with, and you never let it show. The last month was mostly her asking why it hadn't sold and you explaining the market, patiently, every time.

Then the listing ran out, and she said she thought she'd take a break.

The Call You Made

You called her nine days later. That was the right thing to do.

You had a plan. A new price, a new photographer, staging for the front room, and a fresh start in a better season. You laid it out on the phone and she listened.

She said she'd think about it. Two days later, the sign in her yard had somebody else's name on it, at about the price you recommended.

You saw the new listing and the new photos. The photos weren't any better than yours.

It closed in about five weeks. You heard she was happy.

The house was fine the whole time. The price was the problem, and it was the problem from April on.

What the Industry Tells You to Do

The industry's answer is to protect the relist. And that's good. Have the price conversation earlier. Set expectations at the initial listing appointment. Get a longer term. Bring the market update to a sit-down meeting, not a phone call. Ask for the extension before the listing expires, not after.

Most of that would have helped.

With this seller, though, something else decided the relist. She never got as far as weighing your plan. It was decided before that, and it had nothing to do with price or photographers.

What the Other Agent Asked

Go back to those nine days.

You called about the listing. New price, new photos, new season. Every word was about the house and the next six months.

The other agent called about the last six months.

Whatever she said, it probably wasn't clever. She asked what happened. Then she listened. And a woman who spent half a year watching her house not sell said out loud that it was a terrible spring. She said she felt foolish every time somebody asked about the house, and that she didn't know whether to believe what agents told her anymore.

Nobody asked her that. Not once in six months, and not on the call where you presented your plan.

So when the new agent asked questions first and then recommended a price, it sounded like advice from somebody who understood what she went through. When you recommended the same number, it was the eleventh time you explained the market to her.

Six Months of Agreeing

It goes back further than that phone call. Think about the price.

You knew in the first three weeks it was too high. You said so, carefully. She pushed back, and you gave it another month. Then another.

Both reductions were her idea before they were your recommendation. You knew the price was wrong. You also decided, early on, that your job was to keep her happy and keep the listing.

So for six months you were the agent who agreed with her. It was expensive for both of you. She paid in days on market. You paid in time, expense, and losing the relist.

By the end she didn't have an advisor. She had a pleasant person who explained things. One phone call after the listing expired couldn't change that.

Even the two reductions came across as you agreeing with her, not advising her. She'd say the price should come down. You'd say you thought that was wise. Then the price dropped. In six months, none of the hard calls came from you.

Why It Keeps Happening

Doing what the seller wants feels like good service, right up until the listing expires.

Every time you went along with her, you had a good reason. She was upset. The market was slow. The timing was bad. Pushing felt like it would hurt the relationship. So you put off the harder conversation, again and again. Putting it off is what cost you the relationship you were trying to protect.

Each of those reasons made sense on its own. Six months of them adds up to an agent the seller doesn't hire again.

It's the same trade as the seller who wants a price the market won't pay, where the agent takes the seller's number and lives with sixty slow days. It ends in the same place as twenty closings and not one referral. In six patient months, nobody asked her how it felt, so she had nothing good to tell anyone about you.

Two Calls to Make This Week

Two calls, and neither one is a pitch.

First, call one seller whose listing expired with you in the last year. Don't bring a plan. Ask one question, then be quiet as long as it takes.

"Tell me exactly what happened, all of it. I want the full picture so I understand."

Then: "What would making this right look like to you?"

You may get the relist. You may also hear some things that are hard to hear. Either one is worth more than the plan you would have presented. A seller who feels heard is the only kind who will take your recommendation.

Second, on your next active listing, when you know the price is wrong, say so that week. Once, plainly, in one sentence, without a chart.

"I don't think we're getting an offer at this number, and I'd rather tell you in week three than in month five."

Say it and stop. She can say no. If she does, say it again in three weeks. She'll know exactly where you stand for the whole six months, and that's what she hired you for.

Some sellers will let the listing go over that sentence. Most of them would have expired with you anyway, and it's better to find out in week three.

One phone call and one sentence. That's all it costs.

The Name for This Pattern

This pattern has a name. It's the fourth of the Six Mind Shifts™, Roles, and the shift is from order taker to trusted advisor.

An order-taker keeps the client comfortable and hopes to keep the listing. A trusted advisor says the uncomfortable thing early. The advisor is the one sellers call back, including the ones who argued at the time.

I wrote about it in The Unforgettable Agent. An expired listing is usually six months of going along with the seller, and the cost shows up all at once.

Every agent loses deals

Most never put a number to it.

Takes about 2 to 3 minutes to find yours.

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Larry Heathcote is an identity coach for real estate agents, creator of the Six Mind Shifts™ and the Six Decision Drivers™, and author of The Unforgettable Agent. He works on the one thing in every room an agent can actually control: who you are when you sit across from a client.