THE ROOM

They asked me to cut my commission.
I did.

Your fee got smaller this month. Nobody asked you to lower it. You lowered it yourself.

It can happen at a listing appointment or at a buyer consultation, and it happens the same way at both.

At the Listing Appointment

You got to the house a little after six on a Tuesday. You sat at the kitchen table, the way it usually goes. The comps were printed and in order.

The two of them liked you within ten minutes. You could feel it. She asked good questions about the photos. He asked about days on market and nodded at the answer. Forty minutes in, you were already thinking about the sign in the yard.

Then he asked what you charge.

That's all he said. "What do you charge?" You answered, and then you kept going. "Six percent, but I also do a lot more marketing than most agents, and for a house like this one, I could probably do five and a half."

Nobody objected. Nobody frowned. He asked for your fee, and you answered as if he asked for a discount.

You drove home with the listing. On the way you told yourself it was smart. Giving up half a point to get a house that's going to sell anyway is a fair trade. Everybody gives a little in this market.

Then you did the math at a red light. Half a point on that house is real money, and it came out of your pay. It didn't win you the listing, because they were already going to hire you. You knew that ten minutes in. You cut your fee forty minutes in anyway.

At the Buyer Consultation

If you work with buyers, the same thing happens in a different setting.

You met a couple at a coffee shop. They found you online. You walked them through the buyer agreement in a steady voice until you got to the section about how you get paid. Then you sped up.

"We'll ask the seller to cover it. If that doesn't work out, we'll figure something out together."

They didn't question it. They didn't have time to. You moved on before they finished reading the section, and you left with an agreement that says "we'll figure something out" where your fee should be.

In both cases, nobody asked you to take less. You offered it.

What the Industry Tells You to Do

The industry has an answer for this, and it's a reasonable one. Practice the fee conversation. Know your value and be able to state it. Build a value proposition so the number has something behind it. Role-play the pushback with a colleague until the sales closing scripts come out smooth. Hold firm. Never discount.

None of that is wrong. Agents who do it are better prepared than agents who don't. You may even have a good answer ready for when a client pushes back on your fee.

In the two meetings above, nobody pushed back, so the prepared answer never came up. You lowered your fee before anyone objected to it.

He Asked a Question. You Heard an Objection.

Think back to the listing appointment. He asked what you charge.

That was a question, not an objection. People ask it when they're getting ready to hire you. They need the number to make their decision.

You heard an objection, so you answered an objection. You started defending your fee before anyone criticized it, and you offered a discount before they could decide whether they even had a problem with the number. Most sellers don't.

You negotiated against yourself, and nobody was negotiating with you.

The buyer consultation went the same way. You rushed the section about your pay because you were sure they would object to it. So you answered an objection they never made. They weren't going to make it. They found you, they liked you, and they were ready to sign.

What Your Clients Learned About You

That moment cost you more than half a percent.

Your clients watched you give up money without being asked. From that, they can fairly guess you'll give ground on other things too: the list price, your advice on an offer, your position on repairs. Once a client sees that a subject makes you nervous, they tend to come back to it, and usually when the offer comes in.

You're asking them to trust you with one of the biggest negotiations of their lives. The first negotiation they watched you handle was over your own fee, and you gave in without being pushed. They'll expect you to handle an offer the same way.

For the rest of the deal, expect them to push you harder than they would have otherwise. They saw you give in once.

Why It Keeps Happening

It keeps happening because of a belief you bring to every appointment: your fee is the thing that costs you clients. If you believe that, you expect an objection every time, whether the client has one or not.

The client didn't raise your fee as a problem. You did. And once you treat it as a problem, you feel you have to solve it. So you offer a discount.

Agents who do this aren't weak negotiators. Most of them hold firm when a client really does push back. They give in when nobody is pushing, and that's a different problem.

The same belief shows up when the seller wants a price that won't sell and you start softening your pricing advice before they've reacted to it. And it's part of why you walked out of a presentation feeling good and they signed with another agent. The other agent stated a fee and stopped talking.

What to Do Before Your Next Appointment

Write your fee down in one sentence. Do it at home, when you're calm and nobody is sitting across from you.

"My fee is six percent, and I don't discount it."

Use your own number. That's the whole sentence.

Then, at the appointment, when they ask, say it and stop talking. Count to five in your head if you have to. Let them speak next.

If they ask a question, answer the question they asked, not the one you were afraid they'd ask. Most of the time the next thing they say is "fine," or "okay," or a question about the photos. You'll be surprised how often nobody was pushing at all.

If someone does push back, that's a different conversation, and a fair one. They're allowed to ask. You're allowed to keep your fee. One sentence does it, and then you stop talking again.

"I don't discount my fee, because I don't discount what I do for you."

That sentence is easier to say when you've already stated your full fee once, calmly, instead of offering a lower one. You stop arguing with yourself about your fee before the client has said a word.

It costs nothing, and you can start at your next appointment.

The Name for This Pattern

This pattern has a name. It's the third of the Six Mind Shifts™, Values, and the shift is from compromise to clarity.

Clarity means you decided ahead of time what you'll give up and what you won't. You decided it before the appointment, not during it. So when someone asks your fee, there's nothing to defend. You just answer.

I wrote about it in The Unforgettable Agent. Most agents first notice this pattern when they talk about their fee.

Every agent loses deals

Most never put a number to it.

Takes about 2 to 3 minutes to find yours.

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Larry Heathcote is an identity coach for real estate agents, creator of the Six Mind Shifts™ and the Six Decision Drivers™, and author of The Unforgettable Agent. He works on the one thing in every room an agent can actually control: who you are when you sit across from a client.